A few days before my Dad died in 1988 he told my mother not to expect anything from anyone. He was 48. It’s taken me a few decades of living – with plenty of mistakes – to understand exactly what he meant.
Expecting what others say or do to make us happy – family, friends, fellow workers, strangers – is like walking on heaving ground – think earthquake. It’s unstable.Far better to anchor yourself to that still and quiet place inside you. Yes, really, it’s in there. In spite of the school runs, the unrelenting deadlines, the bullying friend or family member or the lifetime martyrdom of putting others first. What you’re really after is already inside you.
It’s a place where you will find out who you really are, that your life does indeed matter, what your true talents are, what your real desires are – as opposed to all the rubbish you’ve been told about yourself. And probably believed.
The current state of the world needs as many of us well and awake to our own worth so that we can change things for our good rather than feel helpless and hopeless watching world leaders take us towards disaster. You have control over your own body and reactions to the good and bad. NOW is your time.
Here are some easy ways of re-connecting to that peace inside you:
Drink a cup of tea. Just drink in the warmth, steam, flavour and slurps.
Watch the rain coming down against the windows on a grey, damp winter’s day.
Listen to someone. Fully. Ignore the pings, buzzes and bells of devices. You’re in control, aren’t you?!
Make a list of what you enjoyed, what worked, people with whom you shared mutually in 2017. Repeat.
Set clear boundaries so you will never waste your time or energy again.
Sit down for a few minutes and do nothing but notice how your breath moves. Then go about your day.
Until then, merriest wishes for a very peaceful and authentically happy New Year.