However you’re feeling right now, I’m here to say I’m with you.
If you’re well, that’s good and if you’re not, then that’s okay too.
One thing 2020 has taught me is that normal includes many states of being and we’ve certainly been given lots of opportunities to practise being patient, kind, and accepting of ourselves and others. A year of mindfulness whether you meditate or not!
I’ve felt quite under pressure recently: two new courses – Counselling Studies Level 3 and an online course in shamanic healing. A car tyre punctured while away on the first weekend of the counselling course and on the second weekend the car flooded as I was caught in Storm Alex in Somerset. In the same week my childhood second mum, Kathleen, died suddenly and I was approached by a large organisation with an ideal job. Lots of new events within a short space of time needing immediate attention…but where to focus first?
The car issues were attended to first as that’s how I get to work and travel for study. I found time during a lunch break on the counselling course to head to a local chapel to light a candle for Kathleen while family relayed updates about her send off and I knew I’d be able to honour her properly on my return.
Meanwhile, the job offer needed consideration as I weighed up factors based on fear and others based on, well, excitement and lightness.
Fear pushed me towards the long-term prospects and financial security of the job in an era of Covid along – a 9 to 5 steadiness, a team and training. Yet something about it felt burdensome.
While the on-going study, freedom of self-employment – even in an uncertain world, a caring, supportive group of professionals that are my work family and the potential for creative possibilities to support others lit me up. The body’s intuitive knowledge signalled clearly which way to go though it defied all logic.
I’ve made too many decisions in my life based on fear and they didn’t deliver.
I’m grateful for a longtime meditation and healing movement practice that has honed my body- mind into a wise sensor for experience if I but give myself time to listen right down to my bones.
What choices have you made this year and how did you choose?